Friday, May 17, 2013

Letting kids be kids.

This is our pool. This is not an actual picture of our pool but it is exactly the same.

It was way bigger than what we thought. We thought we could put the dog kennel behind it and fit in into the same area!

Boy, were we wrong.

It was so lopsided that once filled with 5000 gallons of water it was even more lopsided.

The kids got a few good runs in it, but couldn't really play for fear of it collapsing.

So we drained it. Yup... Drained 5000 gallons of water before receiving the first water bill! haha.

We took the kennel out. We connected the posts from the kennel and made a huge maze in the yard to drain the pool and to keep the water from going into the neighbors... moved the pool... started to even the ground out again....... This is what got in the way! :0)

 

 

 


 

 
 My kids decided they were going to play in the mud!! :0)

They jumped in it, sat in it, and threw it around..... They even laid in it.

 
They both Sat down and played in it, throwing it around at each other! They had so much fun!




 
It's so much fun to watch them be kids!

To be honest... I would much rather have them playing in the mud outside then inside playing on the computer, phone, or tablet.

I enjoyed the outdoors as a child.... they should too! :0)

Then the really fun part came... spraying them down with a hose. My daughter Alexis got that privilege while I took pictures and finished getting the ground ready for the pool. :0)



 

 
 So much Fun!!!! I love having my kids with me everyday even though they push my buttons all the time. I couldn't see life without them!

Here is the finished product the pool is completely full and treated as of an hour ago. It took from about 7:30ish PM last night to 11:00Am this morning to fill up!

We can do Whirl Pools now without the threat of it falling over, we can play games, and we can throw each other around. I'm not excited for the water bill!


 

 

A woman just making it thru life
Laura <3

 
 


Why aren't our Children more important?!

It just absolutely BAFFLES me how a parent can only think about themselves.

I'm talking about my ex husband.

A little background information:

We were together from the age of 16. He moved away to Florida. He came back and we were together and lived together for 10 years. There is so much that I could say as to why this relationship ended after 10 years but I will have to get into that later. I will say that I grew up and he didn't. He caused a lot of my anxiety that I have now. We was hardly ever around and cared about himself more than myself and his own Children.

Who could not want to love every minute with these precious babies?


I was mom, a stay at home mom. So my time was consumed by my children. It still is.

Okay so now that you have a little bit of backgroulnd information....

He irritates me more than anyone I know. I've never been so mad at anyone the way I get mad at him. I know it's not worth the fight but I just wish I could say something to him.

He doesn't know how much he means to his kids (Cheyanne mostly). After we separated he decided to not take them at all.. .every weekend was always an excuse. Slowly it turned into every other weekend, with the kids kicking and screaming because they didn't want to go with him. Then he started dating a girl with a child and decided to take them every weekend. It was a nice break for a single momma working all the time.

I told him he couldn't claim them for income tax this last year and that's where he decided to make stupid choices. I was the one spending 400.00 in gas a month. I was the one there everyday. I was the one paying daycare. I was the one doing EVERYTHING while he was out partying.. He told me that he was going back to the original plan of every other weekend.

Whoa... OKAY?!.. That's fine, my kids are my life... but who do you think you are really hurting?! It doesn't hurt me. It's hurts my children.

He also freaked out and made a rash decision to move away from his children in order to better himself. Since then he has told me is no better off.

OKAY?! Again... Who are we hurting here?

Before he moved away he never NEVER once attended Cheyanne's Dance practices, while me and her stepdad were there all the time!!! NOT ONCE did he attend!!!

Right before moving he had 2 days off... Do you think he spent it with his children? NO he went to Colorado to visit his family. Mind you he is much closer to them now, then he is to his kids. When asked why, His response "I bought the tickets before knowing I was moving". WOW... okay.. so going to see your mom & dad is better than taking the loss on the tickets and spending that time with your children before you move away from them?! Again he is more important. He came and saw his kids for an hour after he got back from Colorado and then was gone.

He moved away in November 2012. Called for a week, crying that he regretted the move and missed his kids. I get it, you're homesick. He said he was coming back in the spring.

I've spent so much time trying and trying to fix him for my kids after we split up. It was a lot of wasted energy and time. As Cheyanne's therapist told me, you can't fix them.

He came to visit in January and had the kids for the weekend. I was told that they would be staying at my sisters house while he had them and that he was focused on spending all his time with them. When my daughter came home she told me that she was really upset because of her daddy. She told me that they stayed at his cousins all weekend and at night they were stuck in the bedroom watching movies while he was out partying with all his friends. She said that they were loud and that they were out playing beer pong.

I was LIVID! What kind of "Father" doesn't see his kids for 2 months and doesn't spend the whole 2 days focused on them?!

I called him and told him that when he comes to town he can have the kids from 7AM-7PM, that way he can still have his night life and my kids come home where they belong.  I asked him why all those people were there... and his response was "I can't tell them who they can have over and who they can't, which I understand. (I know the amount of people they have over and how much they drink... these people were once my friends.) Why not spend the time in the room watching movies with your kids... or here's a thought.... stay where you said you were going to stay!

He also came to town in March and saw them for 2 hours. YES... 2 hours.

I know he loves his kids..... but they aren't his whole world.

The calls slowly disappeared. He called maybe 2 times a month now and only talks to them for a couple minutes.


As of today... 05/17/2013 he has not called to speak to his kids since the 5th. The kids have slowly stopped asking to call him. He accuses me of taking the kids out of his life (because I won't let them go to North Dakota for the summer) -another post, but he seems to be the one doing it to himself. My kids are very lucky to have their step dad in their life!

Sorry for such a long post... the next should be shorter as they are more up to date and in the now. :0)


A woman just making it thru life
Laura <3





Thursday, May 16, 2013

Just a little about me :0)

I'm hoping to accomplish some things with this blog.... it's possible that might not happen but it's worth a try.

It's been a long time (I'm talking middle school/high school) since I have done any type of journaling so bare with me if you are reading this. :0)

There has been a lot that has happened in my life (I've had my up's and down's); hence the name! :0)

I'm hoping that journaling..... or blogging.... whatever you or I want to call it will help me work out my feelings and thoughts.. get them all down.
Also to document my life right here... right now (I have some catching up to do). This includes fun days with the kids, when something important happens, Family nights, crafts... and well anything I really feel like writing about.

I'm not looking for advice (again if your reading this). I'm just a woman making her way through this thing we call life! :0)


Let's see, :0) I am a mother to two amazing kids, and step mom to two wonderful kids. My children's ages are 16 ,7,7, & 4). Picture below from left to right: Cheyanne (7), Jaxxon (4), Alexis (16), & Trenton (7).

My husband and I have only been together a year, but I love the man with all my heart! I will get into another blog about him! He is, well..... just worth a blog all to himself! ;0)



I suffer from social anxiety and well...... anxiety when it comes to almost everything. I get completely embarrassed over everything. I hang on to feelings for far to long and gets stressed out easily. My head is a jumbled mess that replays moments in life over and over again and thinks of what could have been done/said or should have been done/said. I am so fearful of failure.. it's almost disgusting.

But on the positive: I can love like crazy. I am crafty. I will do all that I can to help others out with nothing to be asked of in return. I don't like to fight. I am indecisive. I love my family. I love makeup and hair.

I am a full time Office Manager/Corporate Safety Officer with an Electrical Company. They are beyond amazing in everyway... which will be another entry. Below is the Facebook link
https://www.facebook.com/GarrettElectricCompany

I also own my own business. It's Love.Cherish.Joy Photography. The Facebook page is listed below.
https://www.facebook.com/LoveCherishJoyPhotography
I don't have the full confidence in it, but I love being behind the camera and am in constant need of approval. I know... terrible right?! I'll be adding things as I go along. It may include photos from collections I have done or will do, the progression on the business, how I felt, etc.

My days consist of the 9 hour work day, home, cleaning, making dinner, baths, bed, and spending time with my husband & kids.
 

A woman just making it thru life
Laura <3

Friday, May 10, 2013

Our ONE year!!

Chris and I have been married for a little over a month when our 1 year dating anniversary (05/10/13) came up.  I knew we had to celebrate this one!!

I bought him a tool chest.



It decided to surprise him on our doorstep only on the one day he was home! He ended up getting it on the 3rd instead of the 10th.

On the 10th I surprised him with something more. I was pinterest inspired.

I went to the dollar store and bought the candy, went home and made the hearts with the sayings. A picture is below. I packed it all into a bucket. All the candy, card, and bucket cost me $28.00. What a fun and awesome way to express how you feel.


List of Candy and Sayings:

Milky Way: I love you to the Milky Way and Back

Junior Mints: You and I are "Mint" to be together.

Sugar Babies: Give me some Sugar, Baby!

Life Savers: You're a lifesaver

1,000,000: I wouldn't trade our love for 1,000,000

Good & Plenty: Your love is Good & Plenty for me.

Nerds, Goobers, Airheads: I love how we can act like Nerds, Goobers, and Airheads.

Snickers: You always make me "Snickers"

Now & Later: I will always love you, both Now and Later

Riesen: You are the "Riesen" for my happiness

Dr. Pepper Soda: "Soda" you know I couldn't live without you?

Sweetarts: I will always be your sweetart.

Milk Duds: I love acting like complete "duds".

Reeses Pieces: I love every piece of you.

Extra Gum: I've gotten "Extra" Lucky to have you in my life.

Pop Rocks: You "Rock" my socks.

Hot Tamales: You are one Hot Tamale

Kisses: I love giving you kisses.

Gummy Bears: (Personal) It was with the card. I call him Grizzly Bear.

Sugar Daddy: How you Dooin? (voice of Joey off of the TV show Friends [It's something we say to eachother]) Sugar Daddy.


A woman just making it thru life
Laura <3

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The day I almost died

If you don't know what an Ectopic or Tubal pregnancy is check out http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/pregnancy-ectopic-pregnancy
I love WebMD by the way! :0)


April 13th, 2011: My day started at around 8:30 am. I got up, made my kids breakfast, and played on face book for awhile. At around 9:45 I got up made myself a bagel and went into Bugs (My daughter Cheyanne) room to watch Tangled with her. I felt like I had to use the restroom, so I set the bagel down in Bugs room and went in to go.

I ended up with hot and cold flashes; sweating constantly. I took of my shirt and laid on the cold bathroom floor because the pain I felt was like nothing I've felt before. I called for Cheyanne to get Raymond. Raymond came back and tried to get me off the floor and I just couldn't get up! It hurt so bad to even move. I could only lie on my left side. Raymond got the computer and came and felt my left and right sides, and the pain was worse on my right. We thought appendicitis. Ray called my dad, got me up and moved me to the couch, and went to go get my dad.

Raymond seemed to be gone forever and the pain was getting worse. I begged and begged Cheyanne to find my phone so I could call 911. She found my phone about 10 minutes later (Probably was less than that but it felt like eternity) because it had fallen behind the bed in my room that night. Cheyanne was in a frantic and eventually found it for me. I called 911 and said "I need an ambulance, my stomach hurts, (gave them my address), Please Hurry" without waiting for questions. The operator said she was sending an ambulance and I hung up.

The paramedics arrived right after Raymond came in. They came into the house, took my vitals. They couldn't get a good blood pressure and were confused by it. They stuck an IV in my hand, asked a bunch of questions “how old are you” 25, “where is the pain” my stomach, "Are you on Drugs" no, "Are you sure" yes (I was out of it), etc. My kids were freaking out. They came in with the stretcher, causing me more pain getting on it because they had to roll me over and then roll me back on to it. In the Ambulance the female paramedic thought it was possible to be appendicitis. They gave me a little bit of pain medication (which did nothing) and some anti nausea medicine. The bumps on the way to the hospital were very painful. I didn’t feel comfortable and felt very unstable being strapped down to the stretcher.

We arrived to the ER. Raymond had followed the Ambulance and called my aunt and uncle. They got me into the ER room and put an IV in my other arm. They took blood for blood work and tests. The Dr came in asking questions "What's wrong", "where is the pain", "When did it start", "Smoker", "Drinker", "Are you pregnant?","Any previous surgeries?". My answers: My stomach hurts, my whole stomach, about 30 minutes ago, yes, no, no, two c-sections.

Raymond stood at the end of the room as they were checking me out and came to my side when they cleared out. He said "You can't die on me; I can't raise these kids alone". He was kidding of course, but it became a reality really fast because my vitals started dropping. I remember the doctor saying something about a tubal pregnancy and Raymond asking if there was any threat to me. The doctor said yes and my husband broke down. From here on out I don't remember much because I was in and out, only being conscience for seconds at a time.
I remember them saying they couldn't give me pain medication because my blood pressure was too low, they dropped the head of the bed to keep the blood to my heart.
And I was out!
I remember the DR saying "Where are the results, we need them like YESTERDAY" The nurse saying "There is a faint line, but it's showing positive".
And I was out!
I remember him standing over me squeezing two bags of fluid into me; rolling them up and squeezing.
And I was out!
I remember Raymond crying and standing by the door with Nicole and David behind him in the hall.
And I was out!
I remember telling them I needed water, getting ice (which I later found out was a wet gauze pad) rubbed on my lips and telling them that I felt like I was going to pass out over and over again.
And I was out!
I also remember them asking me if I was okay with a blood transfusion.
And I was out!
I remember a lot of people being in the room. I remember them bringing in an ultrasound machine and doing a vaginal ultrasound that hurt more than anything. They found that the tube had ruptured and I was having internal bleeding.

I was bleeding out fast......

The next thing I remember is someone telling me they were prepping the room for surgery. I again asked for pain medication but they told me I would be better soon. I couldn't have any pain medication because I had lost a lot of blood.
Next I remember being in the surgery room; the oxygen mask going over my face and someone laying my arms straight out to the side.
(I don't remember anything in between besides what I have you here) 

I woke up from surgery in the recovery room, the nurse kept coming to my side telling me she was giving me more pain medication and my vision was very blurry. The nurse would lean over my face to ask how I was doing, but I couldn’t make out what she looked like; I could just see the outline of her head and shoulders.

For the next 3 days I had nurses coming into the room saying they were happy to see that I have color to my face, that they heard they were lucky to have me there, and that they were glad that I was alive. The Doctor came to see me the second day and told me that I needed five blood transfusions and normally they only need to do two and that my blood pressure was at a low 35/15. Raymond had told me that he had to sign my life away, which was probably very scary. He said he signed for me to have blood transfusions, full hysterectomy; anything the DRs had to do to keep me alive.

I had gained 20 pounds in 3 days just from the fluids they had to pump into me to keep my blood pressure up. Thank goodness that was just water weight and came off really fast!

I was greeted at home by my wonderful children and a load of puppies :0) Picture to come soon.
 
A woman just making it thru life
Laura <3