Just as it got started... The search was over!

April 24th 2014:

It happened just like that!

Within 15 minutes of getting a lead on where he might possibly work. He was one the phone!

Oh my god was the only thing I thought and quite possibly the only thing I said (You might have to ask my Daughter Alexis). I think my immediate reaction was putting my hands to my face and pacing the room feeling every nerve in my body going crazy.

I had found him! It only took me 29 days. Every lead I had was a dead end and this one seemed like it was going to end the same way.

It wasn't at all how I expected it to go. I expected to get the information I needed, sit on it for awhile, and then possibly make contact when I felt ready for it.

At this point I didn't have a choice.

My husband got off the phone with him and said "He knows about you".

"How do you know"

"I could tell by his reaction"

"Well, what did he say and How did he say it". 

The fear hit when I knew I had to call him in 20 minutes, but I knew it had to be done. I couldn't just leave it hanging, plus he was right there and I wanted any information I could get! It was the time I could get all the answers I needed and ached for since finding out my dad was not my biological dad.

I'm glad I called him.
I found out many things about him and his relationship with my mom. According to him; the stories I had heard about him being possessive, his mom sending him away, and that he broke up with her when he found out, was not at all the way it went. I believe him. None of the stories I heard made sense to me in the first place and only added more confusion to my already confused heart.

He didn't find out my mother was pregnant until after she left and he was never 100% sure that I was his. He found me a couple years ago and had been waiting for my call.
I have a large family. I have two more sisters; plus, I'm an aunt!

I'm relieved that he has accepted getting to know me; instead of just shutting me out, or wanting nothing to do with me.

Before I found him I thought to myself that I would be okay given he didn't want anything to do with me; but I realize now that I think about him and my new found sisters all day! They always cross my mind. If I wasn't able to contact them, I'm sure I would feel sort of lost; or in a way, heartbroken!

The feeling of being "lost" or "incomplete" has subsided with finding Randy; with knowing that he wants to get to know me and meet me one day, and with finding what information I was looking for, as well as knowing and speaking to my biological father. It's like the last piece of the puzzle is there. Even though I haven't met him, I know he exists and I know that I'm part of him. He is no longer a stranger. My puzzle is complete having found him.  

I feel that I've already started building relationships with each of them. I've spoken to Randy three times for hours at a time and I really enjoy him. Our 2-3 hour talks seem to fly by. He's honest. He seems straight forward. He makes me think. He is positive.

I feel bad for him in a way. He states that it's like his baby was stolen away from him. I couldn't imagine that feeling and in a sense I can't feel what he feels. I just learned that he was my biological dad. Before March 26th I had a biological dad and knowing that he is not is still very hard to grasp. It's still all new for me and becoming "okay" with it, I know will come with time.

Being told what I have about Randy by his daughters (my sisters), sister (My aunt), and what I gotten from speaking with him. I wish I would have known him as a kid. I could have had the best of both worlds. I don't  necessarily think it's fair that he was kept from me or I was kept from him. I often wonder who I would be had another person influence my life; not only him but his family (or my family).

I'm not saying that I grew up in a bad way or had bad influences. I loved being outdoors at all times. I love most the family I grew up with. I love it all, but I know that things could have possibly been different. But like Randy says the past is the past and there is nothing we can do about it.

So what do we do from here on out? I hope...... We create a future. We create time, love, and friendships. We create us. We create a father and daughter bond. We create a life that includes one another. We create memories. Twenty-eight years is a long time to catch up on.I can only hope for the best.

I'm really excited about this new chapter in my life and can't wait to see what happens. I thank the lord my dad, sisters, and rest of the family are so supportive. It would be hard to do this with everyone against me, but they have been right there supporting me along the way! I'm so blessed to have them in my life!

A woman just making it thru life

Laura <3